I am in a vortex of obligation.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot