Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.