I wish I only lived at night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Man, jail baloney is awful.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off