oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.