Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro