My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.