with your own penis?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
