It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
