So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
