Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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