My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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