Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
soo... how was my night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
