We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
