the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize