I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
