sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
