what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
