Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Randomize
