i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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