So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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