I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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