To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
