Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
