Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
not ubering you a puppy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
