I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
