i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
