she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
