Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
