Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
