is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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