Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
