Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I haven't been this sober since birth.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
