her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
