Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
