just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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