My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my being single is dangerous.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
