Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
