I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
her vagine was all disorganized.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
