idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i think i have two assholes
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
