I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
