AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
