you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
