Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Buhtt sex?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
