I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My penis needs a shock collar
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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