My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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