I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
