You're so nebulous sometimes
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
