Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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