Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
