Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
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She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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