So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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