I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
