You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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