So drunk its hurt
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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