Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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