I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize