Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
