My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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