spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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