Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
