I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas