Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming