i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
