do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
