Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
