we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
