definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize