You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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