i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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