Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
