My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
