I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
