Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
