i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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